We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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