The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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