He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
