Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
