Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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