South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
