He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
