just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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