I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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