i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This beer is not sobering me up at all
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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