Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
