I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
