I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
