Your dad touched me again.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
