Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
