We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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