You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
