is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
