Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
