you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
