So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
