My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
PANTIES FOUND
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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