Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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