when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
