I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I see more hoeing in ur future
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