i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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