cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
