im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
