new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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