I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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