That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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