He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
