i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
