is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
