new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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