i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize