I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
