You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
