so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
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If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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