went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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