my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
