Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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