Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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