I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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