We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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