I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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