i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You ate ashes out of my bong
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize