Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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