I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize