never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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