hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
