when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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