We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
