Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
