3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
there's paper in my vomit.
handjob tips. give me some.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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