We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So many bounce houses so little time
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
