I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
