Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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