I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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